Do not be critics, you people, I beg you. I was a critic and I wish I could take it all back because it came from a smelly and ignorant place in me, and spoke with a voice that was all rage and envy. Do not dismiss a book until you have written one, and do not dismiss a movie until you have made one, and do not dismiss a person until you have met them. It is a fuckload of work to be open-minded and generous and understanding and forgiving and accepting, but Christ, that is what matters.

-Dave Eggers

Update

I still hate Lost. I'll watch, but I will also judge furiously.

Completely Lost...

Let's talk about the waste of time that is ABC's Lost. The premise of the show is seemingly straightforward: An international flight crashes over the South Pacific and the survivors end up on a remote island, only to discover that there is someone or something already living there. At least, this was the premise when the show first aired. 

I started watching Lost in March of 2008 because everyone was raving about how incredible the show was. I borrowed season one from a friend and gave it a shot. First episode: not bad, not addicting, but I'll keep watching until it gets good. Second episode: not bad, not addicting, but I'll keep watching until it gets better. End of season one: not a bad show, kind of over-the-top, don't really want to watch anymore but I want to know what's in the hatch. That's where it started. 

The first thing I began to dislike about the show was the character names: John Locke, Jeremy Bentham, Daniel Faraday, Miles Straume, Charlotte Staples Lewis (C.S. Lewis), Desmond Hume, Sawyer. The obvious attempt to tie characters to a specific school of thought, philosopher, scientist, or  literary character seems lazy and unimaginative. At least give Locke, Bentham or Faraday a new first name, we can connect the dots ourselves. The need to constantly spell everything out for us is unnecessary 80% of the time. 

The viewer discussion that goes along with this show drives me absolutely insane. It's on the level of 9-11 conspiracy theorists and I can't take it. Predictions, explanations, epiphanies. Websites and blogs committed to bringing you every piece of news you've never wanted about a television show. Maps showing you the theoretical location and topography of the island, complete with relevant sites visited on the show. God forbid you accidentally let a spoiler slip to someone who hasn't quite caught up to the current season. They're on the island, they're off the island, they're back on the island, Locke is dead, Locke is alive, Jin is dead, Jin is alive, the island is alive, the island travels in space, the island travels in time, flashbacks, flash-forwards. Every time I watch this show I get more and more angry at the writers, the cast, and especially the viewers. Of course I'll continue to watch out of obligation to my own fucked up mind and my inability to leave a task before completion, but I won't enjoy it. 

The moment they introduce aliens as a driving force behind the island's power, I'm out. 

It's beginning to look a lot like February.

I took this picture today (February 9, 2009) within the boundaries of my apartment complex.

I have to wonder what it took for this person to actually throw out their Christmas tree nearly a month and a half after Christmas. Isn't there some type of statute of limitations that transforms this tree from holiday decoration to houseplant? There was a trail of dead pine needles leading from the dumpster to apartment 213. At least they wrapped it in a bed sheet and half a trash bag. 

This is why you're fat.

Corn Dog Pizza

Baconnaise

Happy Meal Pizza

Brick of Cheese

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